My 5 Life Lessons at Toastmasters

I don’t remember exactly, when and how I came to know about Toastmasters International . Initially, I thought I would never find a local club in Zambia. Reluctantly, I searched for a “club near me” from Toastmasters website … and baaam, there it was, information about a local club meeting not too far from where I lived! As they say, the rest is history.

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At the time of writing this article, I have been a member for a while; I have delivered both prepared and impromptu speeches and taken on a number of other roles during club meetings. Today, I wish to share with you what I have learnt during this process.

1. Do more of what you fear and you shall know NO more of that Fear

When I joined Toastmasters, I was very afraid of public speaking. Few months down the line, I no longer dread it as much as I did. In fact I relish the chance to speak. What has changed?

Many things I guess; but one this is for certain, I have become familiar with the object of my fear (public speaking).

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You can READ about public speaking until your mind fills up; you can THINK about it until you turn blue, but eventually you MUST DO public speaking if you are to effectively deal with the fear. You must become familiar with public speaking.

The same principle applies to all other fears of life; the more familiar you become with what you fear, the more you master the fear and the less you fear. The fear you avoid, you strengthen; the fear you face you weaken. Familiarize yourself with the object of your fear by moving towards it, not away from it. Start with the “small” fears that cause you to shrink from your greatness and take on the “bigger” debilitating fears as you go along.

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2. You only know IF you are ready when you step up to the plate

There are many times when I have affirmed my readiness for a speech presentation or any other challenging role during the club meetings but it has only been when I have stepped forward to speak that I have realized how ready or unready I truly am.

Prepare all you want; plan until your eyes are red, but you are still not ready! You get the correct verdict when you step forward to actually begin DOING.

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So it is with life; don’t obsess with whether you are ready or not; you will never really know anyway… until you step forward and begin to DO. Just begin to DO. This is not to say, you should neglect planning and “trying to be ready”; it is a way of saying you should be careful never plan yourself into inaction.

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3.  Find something that is stronger than your fear

This is something I experienced first hand when I was giving my icebreaker speech. Prior to making that speech, I was scared; dead scared. I thought I was going to make a fool of myself. It was the first prepared speech I had ever given in any setting.  Before that, the closest I had come to give a speech was when I was reciting John 3vs16 in church, as a little boy back in time. :-)

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But when I stepped forward to speak, I seemed to have taken on a different personality. I delivered with passion and conviction. ;-)

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For the next few days, I was baffled for all the good reasons; why had I done well when I was afraid before the speech?

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As I later realized, it was because … added to the fact that I had prepared adequately, I spoke about my dreams; things that are stronger than my fear of public speaking.

In life, you need to find the thing that is stronger than your strongest fears and hang on to it. It can be an idea, a person, a philosophy … whatever.

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4. You are NEVER Alone

Liverpool Football Club is known for these words: “you will never walk alone”. In Toastmasters, you experience that first hand.

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During one of our club meetings, a guest (a school going kid!), when asked how he found the meeting, innocently spoke of how “encouraged” he was to find that “even adults are just as afraid of public speaking and we the kids”. :D

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At Toastmasters, there is no teacher; everyone is a student. O yes, you find distinguished individuals who qualify for the “teacher” label; people who have learnt the art of public speaking and are excelling in leadership; but eventually everyone is there to learn from one another and walk the path of improving public speaking skills together.

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So it is with life; you are never alone. Sometimes, that is all you need to hear; that “the brethren are also going through the same things”. At every point in your life there is someone on this globe going through the same challenges you are going through.

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I have found that this thought has a way of restoring your sense of self respect and cause you take life for what it is; a journey for everyone.

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5. Everyone needs a place where they can freely Fail

Toastmasters is a place where you can freely fail; it is a friendly environment that takes off the pressure of performance and allows you to try out different techniques of speech delivery without loss… because it is a training ground without undue expectations that come with the “real world” public speaking engagement.

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We live in the “real world” but we all need such a place; a place where you can freely fail without any sense of dreading the loss. This is how we learn.

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Toastmasters has been a wonderful experience in my quest for self growth and horning my skills in leadership and public speaking. If you are not already a member I would invite you to look up the Toastmasters Website and find a club near you. You will not regret.

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Thanks for being here.

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8 Responses to“My 5 Life Lessons at Toastmasters”

  1. Catrien Ross says:

    Christopher, thanks for sharing your experiences. I have done a great deal of public speaking in my life, going all the way back to my first training in the literary and debating society at secondary school!

    Although I have felt butterflies in my stomach, the fluttering has lessened as I have grown more confident in my professional knowledge and the desire to share it. And I believe that a huge motivation for public speaking is exactly this desire to share and communicate with a wider audience.

    Your point about actually doing public speaking is so important. Nothing prepares you more than standing in front of a public and speaking. There is no other way to practice other than to be in practice.

    In your continual quest for self-growth, you might enjoy a simple exercise I just posted on my blog a short while ago. If you have time, please try it out and tell me what you think! Greetings to you from the mountains of Japan – Catrien Ross.

  2. kabamba says:

    Catrien,
    It is always nice to have you here. Thanks for your inspiration. I feel like visiting you in the mountains one day to see mount Fiji :D
    As for that simple exercise, I will drop by your blog for that piece. I love the simplicity of life in the things you write about. I am coming.

    Thanks.

  3. Hey Chris,

    It reminds me of the time when I first started comedy…i failed miserably but it was through that failure that I actually became quite good and the desire to succeed arose within me. I love that line: “Do more of what you fear and you shall know NO more of that Fear” I love it! I think another one of yours I’d like to add to my quotes page! :-)

  4. kabamba says:

    Hey, Amit!

    That would be great! :D
    I was going through your quotes page the other day when you shared the link on FaceBook and it is amazing how much inspiration you can get from them. Thanks for sharing.

    Added to that, there is a quote in one of your articles which has left a lasting impression on my life and its this “No matter the outcome, I will remain happy.”

    It just has a way of energizing me to face the challenges of life. It’s amazing what these words can do; not the easiest of things sometimes but hearing yourself speak to yourself such words creates a sense that no matter what happens, you will finally come through.

    Thanks for your great inspiration and thanks very much for you time.

  5. Good for you. When I have to stand up and speak to people I just picture my audiance sitting there in there underwear. I know that my sound a little strange, but it works for me.

    Fear is something that you do have to challenge and then it leads to growing a person. I like the way to tell the story. Thanks Debbie

  6. kabamba says:

    Hey, Debbie!
    That’s Hilarious!
    I have no doubt it works! A good idea i might have to enjoy the next time i have to speak ;-)
    Welcome and thanks for being here.

  7. Tasha says:

    There you go Philo. C.K, great stuff!
    This reminds me of a time in high school when i was appointed clerk of the scripture union and man the first meeting where i had to speak for the first time in public, is still a time to remember… :D
    But like you have always put it “Do all your part and the rest is a natural consequence”.

    Thanks bro! :)

  8. kabamba says:

    Tasha,
    Welcome and thanks for your comment. Your presence is appreciated. Public speaking can really be intimidating. I can imagine how intimidated you must have felt. But as with everything, we just need to become familiar with it… and the rest is a “natural consequence” :D

    Thanks and take care.

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