4 Things Worth Telling Yourself During Tough Times
Unrest, pain and sorrow are the shadows of life. There is no heart in all the world that has not felt the sting of pain, no mind has not been tossed upon the dark waters of trouble, no eye that has not wept the hot blinding tears of unspeakable anguish ~ James Allen
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A number of years ago, I had the most unfortunate thing happen to my young life; in a very terrible road traffic accident, I lost a car I had just bought … and the person who was driving it lost his life.
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During the months that followed I went through, probably all the negative emotions you can ever think of; shock, denial, anger, guilt, depression; … everything.
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A few years later here I am; strong, free and whole. Such is the highway of life. Tough times come; tough times go; we remain.
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Today, I thought I should share a few things worth telling yourself during those dark moments of the soul.
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1. I AM MASTER OF MY DESTINY
I am sure you have heard this statement a zillion times and many times it has seemed opposed to your physical reality. Remember the times you have felt things happening to you? The times you have felt at the mercy of what seems like an evil matrix? Even in those times, you remain master of your destiny.
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There is a misconception about what it means to be a master of your destiny. Many people think that being master of destiny means having power to move your life in whatever direction you wish. Not entirely; being master of destiny also means being courageous enough to submit to, and experience the inevitable whilst retaining your dignity and sanity.
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One of the greatest lessons of life is learning how to bend, so as not to break. This is mastery.
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2. THIS SITUATION IS BETTER THAN THE WORST
There is no such thing as hitting rock bottom; the worst is a bottomless pit and therefore unreachable. In the Christian Holy Scriptures, there is a text that puts this so beautifully, “Nothing has befallen you except that which is common to man”.
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Relative to the worst case scenario (if at all there is such an objective state) you will almost always find yourself in a position “better than the worst”. However bad it is, however bad it hurts or gets, it can be worse than it is. Train yourself to see a situation as always better than the worst.
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This has a way of bringing clarity and perspective; and many times that is all you need to move on. This may not sound inspiring to many, but it has a way to retaining your self respect and your ability to remain grateful.
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3. HOWEVER BAD IT IS; HOWEVER BAD IT GETS, I WILL NOT LOSE MY JOY AND I WILL NOT LOSE MY MIND
In the times of trouble, if you lose your joy and you lose your mind you have lost indeed. A sad countenance and a heavy heart are not an unusual thing in times of pain; it is understandable. It is okay to give yourself time to mourn; it is normal to be bitter for a while but when you are done with that you must be able to stand up and tell yourself, “however bad it is, however bad it gets, I will not lose my joy and I will not lose my mind”.
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4. THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Everything that came to be, must always comes to pass; what remains eternal is that which must always have been eternal. O yes, you may have to put up with some scars; it may change your life for what seems like an eternity but it need not put you down forever. Truly.
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One way or the other, it must come to pass. If you have to look into the mirror as you speak, please do that; if closing your eyes works well for you, do that. Whatever you do, tell yourself … with all the conviction you can master, “this too shall pass”.
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Ultimately, we all have to go true life challenges; not that we wish to do that, but because that is just how it is. I wish you well as you go through. I wish you all the success in the things that have previously held you back and caused you to shrink from your greatness.
Christopher, what an amazingly powerful post. Thank you so much for sharing the pain of your personal story and the wisdom of your insights. I appreciate every word you wrote, and want to thank you especially for, “One of the greatest lessons of life is learning how to bend, so as not to break.” This is so poignant and so encouraging, because often we feel so close to breaking and yet, if at that crucial point we bend instead, we make it through to new understanding and a wholeness born out of despair. I also love, ““however bad it is, however bad it gets, I will not lose my joy and I will not lose my mind”.
What a wonderfully uplifting gift you have given me this rainy morning in the mountains in Japan. And thank you, too, for visiting and commenting again on my blog. Your post today enriches my smile – Catrien Ross.
Catrien,
Thanks for your wonderful words. I am glad you found the post enriching. I think that there is so much inspiration in pain. If that is the only value we can get from tough times, then that is worth it.
I loved your recent article; there is so much in a simple smile. Recently, i have developed the habit of smiling before i take a call. I do it just because.
From the Southern African country of Zambia, I thank you.
Dear Christopher,
I found this to be a truly beautiful post and very powerful. I love how you illustrate your ability to transcend this painful and awful experience as well as the timeless truths you’ve learned. Every point you listed, I have found to be of incredible value in my own life. I especially love how you define becoming master of your destiny: how to bend so as not to break. In life, we have to be nimble. There will be storms; there will be blows; there will be full-blown disasters that will shake us to the very core. But when we learn to the steps to the dance, we will be just fine.
As for “this too shall pass”, a blogger buddy wrote about how it works both ways. Euphoria as well as pain; they are both temporary and as long as we don’t lose our essence with every passing thing, our lives will be enriched.
Thank you so much for your wisdom and insight.
Belinda,
Thank you for your thoughts and for adding value to this post by your wisdom.
“As long as we don’t lose our essence with every passing thing, our lives will be enriched.”
Concerning both the positive and negative experiences of our lives, I couldn’t have asked for a more inspiring and enlightening statement.